Saturday, April 19, 2014

I'm a Latter-Day Saint.

So I don't know who actually reads this, but even if i just get my feelings out there, that's enough for me. I've got some writing to do, so bunker down guys. 
Well let's address the elephant in the room. In November of 2013, i put in my mission papers and a few weeks later, on December 19th, i received a call to serve in the Cambodia Phnom Penh mission. 
I'm sorry, where?
Oh yeah, that little country in between vietnam and thailand that i have NEVER HEARD OF. 
yes, that country. 
I kid you not, i had no idea where that place was. 
I told everyone that where i went didnt really matter, but that i would love to go foreign. you know, my family has slovenian heritage, so maybe the adriatic north mission? and hey, i had taken 5 years of french, so french speaking would be pretty awesome too. 
Well, asia is pretty foreign. and they were a french colony. close enough, i guess? 
All joking aside, that night as i tried to sleep, (emphasize on tried, my mind was going a million miles) i knew that mission was called of God and that i was going there for a reason. Even though i had an extremely basic knowledge of cambodia, i was already in love.  "when did you become an expert in cambodia?" "last night." (thank you avengers, for that totally applicable quote.)
Now let me explain the background of me deciding to go on a mission.
First off, when the announcement of the age change came in October 2012, i was ADAMANT that i would not be serving. everyone was declaring their intentions to serve and i thought; "when i turn 19, ill be in college. and it will be awesome." i told everyone that "i had prayed and the mission life wasnt for me." also, all the girls in my ward were attending mission prep on sundays before church, and guess where you would find me. That's right, asleep in bed. 
fast forward one year; give or take a few weeks.
so i'm in college. living away from my family.
going to church, reading my scriptures, attending institute; all those things were something i made the decision to do. and i learned a lot. i studied a lot. i wrote down more of what i was studying. it was actually fun to read the scriptures and apply them to myself. 
Well one sunny afternoon, i was waiting in the temple to do some baptisms for the dead, and i had some time to read the scriptures. i remember choosing to read from the Doctrine and Covenants. i was missing my missionary bffs, so i decided to read D&C 4, aka the MISSIONARY CHAPTER. well i read that, then i did the "lets flip through pages and read some random verses."
Don't worry, every verse i read had something to do with missionary work. 
after 3 verses i thought; "hmm.. seems to be a theme."
then i found some more.
"well maybe this means something?"
i read one more and thought; "well ok. guess i need to reconsider my stance on the mission thing."
I went home and prayed about it. did some soul searching, if you will. read my patriarchal blessing. called my mom in tears (freaked her out, btw) did some more praying. went camping and did even more soul searching. talked to the bishop and there you have it. (there's more, but i don't want to bore you)
Bottom line, before i went to college, i was right. The mission life wasnt for me. Me as in just-got-out-of-high-school-doesnt-know-herself-yet me. i needed to move out, be on my own, live on  my testimony, make some decisions about my life before i was ready. 
AND THATS OKAY.
Life is about growing. Sometimes you need to grow up a little before you can make some decisions. 
"Faith in God includes faith in his timing."
Well now that i explained the process of my decision to serve, let me tell you my reason.
I love this Gospel. Yes, i take it for granted a lot. but I love this gospel. I love that even though the Book of Mormon was written ages ago, i can still relate it to myself. I know that that book was written by prophets for me. I know that God the Father and Jesus Christ appeared to Joseph Smith and gave him instructions on how to restore the true church to this land. I know that Jesus Christ, my savior, lived and died for me. He was the perfect example to all of us. He made it possible that I can live again. I know that my Savior loves me. He loves EVERYONE. He cares about us all. He listens to our prayers and answers them. I have been so blessed to grow up in a family where these things have been taught ever since I was young. I realize that a lot of people havent been so lucky. So again, why am i going on a mission?
It all boils down to this.
To let people know that they have a Savior who loves them. They have someone on the other side that is rooting for them. Someone who wants them to succeed; to finish strong. Someone that will believe in you, even when you might not even believe in yourself. 
That my friends, is why i'm going on a mission.