I'm a Latter-Day Saint.

So I don't know who actually reads this, but even if i just get my feelings out there, that's enough for me. I've got some writing to do, so bunker down guys. 

Well let's address the elephant in the room. In November of 2013, i put in my mission papers and a few weeks later, on December 19th, i received a call to serve in the Cambodia Phnom Penh mission. 

I'm sorry, where?

Oh yeah, that little country in between vietnam and thailand that i have NEVER HEARD OF. 

yes, that country. 

I kid you not, i had no idea where that place was. 

I told everyone that where i went didnt really matter, but that i would love to go foreign. you know, my family has slovenian heritage, so maybe the adriatic north mission? and hey, i had taken 5 years of french, so french speaking would be pretty awesome too. 

Well, asia is pretty foreign. and they were a french colony. close enough, i guess? 

All joking aside, that night as i tried to sleep, (emphasize on tried, my mind was going a million miles) i knew that mission was called of God and that i was going there for a reason. Even though i had an extremely basic knowledge of cambodia, i was already in love.  "when did you become an expert in cambodia?" "last night." (thank you avengers, for that totally applicable quote.)

Now let me explain the background of me deciding to go on a mission.

First off, when the announcement of the age change came in October 2012, i was ADAMANT that i would not be serving. everyone was declaring their intentions to serve and i thought; "when i turn 19, ill be in college. and it will be awesome." i told everyone that "i had prayed and the mission life wasnt for me." also, all the girls in my ward were attending mission prep on sundays before church, and guess where you would find me. That's right, asleep in bed. 

fast forward one year; give or take a few weeks.

so i'm in college. living away from my family.

going to church, reading my scriptures, attending institute; all those things were something i made the decision to do. and i learned a lot. i studied a lot. i wrote down more of what i was studying. it was actually fun to read the scriptures and apply them to myself. 

Well one sunny afternoon, i was waiting in the temple to do some baptisms for the dead, and i had some time to read the scriptures. i remember choosing to read from the Doctrine and Covenants. i was missing my missionary bffs, so i decided to read D&C 4, aka the MISSIONARY CHAPTER. well i read that, then i did the "lets flip through pages and read some random verses."

Don't worry, every verse i read had something to do with missionary work. 

after 3 verses i thought; "hmm.. seems to be a theme."

then i found some more.

"well maybe this means something?"

i read one more and thought; "well ok. guess i need to reconsider my stance on the mission thing."

I went home and prayed about it. did some soul searching, if you will. read my patriarchal blessing. called my mom in tears (freaked her out, btw) did some more praying. went camping and did even more soul searching. talked to the bishop and there you have it. (there's more, but i don't want to bore you)

Bottom line, before i went to college, i was right. The mission life wasnt for me. Me as in just-got-out-of-high-school-doesnt-know-herself-yet me. i needed to move out, be on my own, live on  my testimony, make some decisions about my life before i was ready. 

AND THATS OKAY.

Life is about growing. Sometimes you need to grow up a little before you can make some decisions. 

"Faith in God includes faith in his timing."

Well now that i explained the process of my decision to serve, let me tell you my reason.

I love this Gospel. Yes, i take it for granted a lot. but I love this gospel. I love that even though the Book of Mormon was written ages ago, i can still relate it to myself. I know that that book was written by prophets for me. I know that God the Father and Jesus Christ appeared to Joseph Smith and gave him instructions on how to restore the true church to this land. I know that Jesus Christ, my savior, lived and died for me. He was the perfect example to all of us. He made it possible that I can live again. I know that my Savior loves me. He loves EVERYONE. He cares about us all. He listens to our prayers and answers them. I have been so blessed to grow up in a family where these things have been taught ever since I was young. I realize that a lot of people havent been so lucky. So again, why am i going on a mission?

It all boils down to this.

To let people know that they have a Savior who loves them. They have someone on the other side that is rooting for them. Someone who wants them to succeed; to finish strong. Someone that will believe in you, even when you might not even believe in yourself. 

That my friends, is why i'm going on a mission.

Can I Interest You In An Analogy?

So.....
I miss my high school running self. I miss the hard work I would put in each day and the feeling of exhaustion when I would come home. I miss the feeling of pushing myself and seeing results. But hey, life moves on, and so must we.
As I was thinking about running today... I compared it to the Gospel. Yep. I went there. I compared two things that I love to each other. Get on my level people. Jk, I tend to compare running to a lot of things. Well mostly life... And the Gospel is very applicable to life. So hey, I'm not a complete running nerd. Anywho, I compared them because they both require a lot of hard work and dedication, but they also bring so much joy and reward.
Here are a few of my reasons for comparison:
So I don't know about you guys, but when I don't run for a while, I tend to think I can just start up again and it'll be like nothing happened. But nope. You take just one day off, and you lose your momentum. You can get back up to your regular running, but it takes time.
Hmm.. Sound like the Gospel?
Have you ever missed church for a few sundays? Or even missed scripture study? At the time, these things don't seem to matter, but a little down the road, you realize it does.
Personal example: During the month of August, I missed practically every sacrament meeting, because of a lot of different circumstances. Any who. I didn't think too much of it at the time, but when I went back to church in September, I realized what I had been missing.
Another reason is that we can be working SO HARD, and not see any results. I'm gonna jump back to running for this. So senior year I was coming back from an injury, and I was trying SO HARD. And nothing. My times were so slow and I was discouraged after every race. Did I quit the team and go home and eat and watch tv? I wish.
Ha.
No, I kept trying. And trying. And I prayed a little. And tried some more. Finally, towards the end of the season, I started to see my old self coming back. And guess what. I was happy. It made my crappy times worth it. (something about going through hard times and coming out stronger than before. it didn't kill me, so therefore, i was stronger)
How, you ask, is this related to the Gospel.
Gee, I'm glad you asked.
Life is hard. We ALL know this. Sometimes we just seem to keep getting hit with anything and everything. And do we just give up? Nope. We continue to live life, struggling daily, waiting for the day when things will get better. I'm reminded of a quote from Batman. "Why do we fall?" "To pick ourselves up."
Guys. Life may seem hard at times. DON'T give up. Have hope. Keep doing what you do. Pray a little. Then keep doing what you do.
See.
I can make an analogy.

____DaysSince

So recently I found this really cool app that allows you to put in a day and then it will tell you how many days it has been since that day. I know, I could easily figure this out, but I'm just too busy/lazy for that. More so lazy, but oh well. The three things I have on the app are the days my three best guy friends left on their missions. Pathetic, I know. Any who, as I was looking at the countup(?), I started to think about the things I have done in those 99 days. Here they are:

• MOVED TO COLLEGE
• Made some really great friends 
• Gone to the St. George Temple a couple of times
• Heard Elder Christopherson speak LIVE (it was pretty great)
• Rappelled and Canyoneered
• Backpacking along the Escalante River
• Really grown closer to my Savior and learned more about the Gospel
• Stayed up really late/really early
• Played night games on campus

Those are just a few of the things I've done, but they've really made me grow up a lot as a person. College life is really fantastic. I'm going to try to blog more, so expect to be hearing more about my life. oh yay. :)

What Love Really Means

Love. This is a word we use countless times a day. We use it when talking about the simplest things and also the most meaningful things. Four letters that mean the world to people. We all just want to be loved by someone. To hear the phrase "I love you," is one of life's greatest moments. "To tell someone you love them, is to make a promise with their heart." -Anonymous. I firmly believe in this quote. You can't just go throwing out the word love, because then it takes away the specialness and reverence of love. I'm not saying you shouldn't tell people you love them. You SHOULD. You just have to mean it. And you have to back it up with action. Sure, life would be much easier if we could just say things and then move on. But the fact that we can't, makes life so much more rewarding. You can say 'I love you', a billion times, but it won't mean anything if you can't show it with how you act. 

Things I Learned On My Trip...

So recently I went on a journey across the country with my family. I learned a few things that I thought I would share with ya'll ;)

• Packing takes a long time. 
• Rock chips will throw a wrench into your journey.... But hey, if that's the worst that happens, it's fine.
• You can only listen to your Ipod for so long. After awhile, it gets boring. And whenever people talk, you just want to hear what they say...
• Southern people are just GREAT! They are so nice and talkative. Here in Utah, people don't just talk to you. You do that awkward walk by. In the South, they will just strike up a conversation. I liked that. I liked it a lot.
• Zaxby's and Groucho's should come to Utah. Their food is really great. 
• In Illinois, Nebraska, and Iowa.. there is only one thing you see. Corn. Oh and the occasional soybean field. That's always fun. . . 
• Sitting in a car for hours on end takes a lot out of you. Which makes no sense to me. 
• Bugs (big ones) are a good way to exit a hotel quickly and early. 
• Some hotels are dumb. And close their pool really early. Like seriously, who closes a pool at 10?? That's just dumb.
• Some places have some really funny shirts. Shirts I should've bought....
• Border patrol. Should have gotten a picture there. . . Luckily I made it through :)
• Middle seat always holds the laptop. Fun stuff!! . . .
• Sharing a bed with your little sister is no fun.  My family says I'm crazy in my sleep.. geez...
• People in Illinois rally. I was there. It was awesome..
• It's a good thing I took my DS that I hardly use. Mom and Tyler would've gone insane. 
• The Alamo is a church. And it's smaller than you would think.
• The Mississippi is HUGE!!!!! Like seriously, I have never seen a river that big. 
• I want to live somewhere other than Utah when I'm married. Not forever, but just for a little bit. 
• There are a lot of different churches all over the place. One of them had a prompt board outside that said, "What do I have to do? Put an ad in the paper?-God" It was awesome.
• I like the beach. It's fun to run on. It's fun to just chill there. But it's really fun to play in the water! Diving into waves? My favorite part :)
• Everything is bigger in Texas. Grasshoppers? Yep.
• Humidity? Oppressive. You walk out that door, and it just hits you. It makes you feel gross. And sticky. And you feel the need to shower all day long.
• Hearing converts stories about their conversion strengthens your testimony a lot. 

It was a very educating and fun experience. I also learned that my family and I need no more family togetherness for quite some time :) 

I Won't Let Go

People. They make you happy, sad, confuse you, but most importantly, they surprise you. Sometimes you learn that they don't actually hate you. That maybe you are the reason for that awkward phase. That maybe, just maybe, things could go back to the way they were. *The only thing constant in life, is change." I don't know where this is from. But I've always liked it. Mostly because of its truth. It's a love/hate relationship. Change can be great. Change can suck. I get really attached to the order of things. Like people in my school classes for an example. It's hard for me to adjust to the new people. I also get attached to friendships. And the way these friendships go on. I like the structure of knowing you can always: text, FB chat, talk, hang. If any of these changes. It's really hard for me. I tend to stay in the past. I know I shouldn't. But I do. I really want what was mine. And usually, it never comes back, but is replaced by something as great. But inside, I still miss it a little. 

I feel like I should set goals for this summer. And I guess I should make them public. Or semi-public. 

• Be More Daring. *This is key. I know what it's about. And I'm really trying to accomplish this :)
• Run. Run. Run. Run.RUN. 
• Be better about scripture study. 
• Be more helpful. Yup. That's me. But seriously. 
• Do more yard work. A few reasons; I like my yard pretty. I like being outside. I like doing work that is physically demanding. 
• Maybe make some money. *Who knew. High school students need money..

Yeah this list could be longer. Maybe it will grow. Anyway. I'm just looking forward to this summer because of the possibilities it has. They. Are. Endless. Well that ends my little... heartfelt blog? Yeah, I don't know either.. . . . .. . . .. . .

This Could Really Be A Good Life

Here's somethings you might want to know if you are thinking about playing lacrosse:

• Be prepared to run. Long distances, sprints, mid distances, sprints. Did I mention sprints? Oh goodie, I got it in there three times. And to make it even MORE exciting, add a mouth guard in there. Limit of breathing, joyous!
• The season falls in Utah's bipolar season. One minute you are hot, the next, you are freezing your butt off. The other day for instance. I showed up in a thermal shirt, long pants, and shorts over my pants. 30 minutes later, my long pants were off, and thank goodness someone brought an extra t-shirt!!
• Exhaustion. Three games a week makes you so tired, that by 10 on Friday night, you are exhausted. And that week sometimes comes again. 
• Being hungry. ALL THE TIME!! Come home from practice, eat half the families dinner, and 2 hours later, you are scrounging the fridge for more food. 
• Coming home from games, and not wanting to take the kilt off. Comfiest. Thing. Of. My. Life. I love it so much. Probably more than I will love my first born. (haha oh just kidding, not that much :D )
• Naming your lacrosse stick. ( Rondo, thank you very much, also why I am numero 9 )
• Acting in ways around your team that you otherwise would not act......
• Being happy after an awesome workout! :)

I'm a fan of lax :) If this blog feels like I don't, you didn't get my vibe. I love it :) Oh so much..... 
=D Later.